Forgive the rambling that I know will ensue, because I haven't written in a while. Things have been so busy and there have been so many things I didn't want to miss out on.
I will start with what is fresh in my mind. The past two days it has monsoon-type rained here. It only rains for about an hour or two, but everything floods. I had thought before that it was so beautiful when it rained here, and it is. I didn't realize the amount of flooding that can occur outside of the walls of the hospital. It is hard to look at. Watching people try and drive/walk home in 2 feet of water on the road is tough to watch. Knowing that that water is overflowing from the sewer... makes me shutter. It is gorgeous to sit under the awning/lanai outside of our rooms and watch the rain. When it rains, the smells change, if but for a brief time. The air almost smells crisp (or maybe I have been brainwashed by the pollution). Either way, this positive fairy tries to find the good in the situation. That's a God-given gift.
I have experienced death in Haiti this trip. And when I say that, I mean a lot. More than I would in a month's time at home in the states. More loved ones have passed than I can imagine, actually. It felt like every time I turned around, someone was talking about losing a patient. Thankfully, for the pediatric deaths my Aussie buddy Tom was here. It helped having some consistency and someone to ensure you that we did everything we could have done for the patient. It also helps to know whose hands the little children are in now. Along with this death comes grieving. Like anyone else, Haitians grieve in many different ways. Some people are stoic and want nothing to do with that loved one and some are wailing over them and have difficulty standing. I met a mother that was somewhere in the middle. She knew me because I was there when her baby came in and working the night her baby entered into Heaven, although I was not his nurse. She found me afterward and, although I don't speak Creole, I know what her expression and body language meant. I held onto her for about 5 minutes, even though I needed to get back to work. She, at first, didn't know what to do. She lightly touched my arms, but after about 15 seconds, she put her head on my chest and cried. She was at the hospital alone. Can you imagine? Completely alone. It was good to have that opportunity, even if it meant that she only felt comfort for those 5 minutes.
One thing I am proud of on this trip is I am learning Creole!! Ricardo, one of the oxygen technicians, is determined to teach me at least one word/phrase every time he sees me. He is also open to questions, which helps. I learned how to say "thunder" and "lightning" last night, but could not type it in here to save my life unless I used my app and cheated. So, one thing I did learn from Ricardo that impressed the Haitian staff is "m'ap vini". This means, along with some other things, "I'm coming back." So, stay tuned for more Creole lesson with Jessica.
Last, but certainly not least, I HAVE A JOB IN MN WHEN I COME HOME! Well, I won't be starting until January, but I will be working as a travel nurse! I'm excited to get to spend time with my family and may need some sort of random job in Maine, because I am weird and don't know how to not work. I have wanted to travel for a long time and now I'm in the club. Haha, I will experience negative temps like I never have before, but it seems like a great opportunity! I mean, I came to Haiti to sweat to death and live in pollution. Why can't I go and find a way to enjoy a TON of snow? I'm up for the challenge.
I will leave you with my favorite verse. I knew that I loved it for a reason, but it's power has been made real to me here.
"O, Sovereign Lord, You have made the Heavens and the Earth with your might power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you!" Jeremiah 32:17
Continue to pray for us here in Haiti. I would very much like to be able to visit the orphanage soon. I want to see children that are well and can enjoy the goodies that some sweet girls in Connecticut gave me to give to them!! I hope to keep you better updated since we will be having more pediatric staff in October!
M'ap vini!
It's been almost a week since my last post. I can say there is much good reason for that. Some good. Some not so awesome. The group that was here the last week, well, they were amazing. The personalities and the tender hearts were all wonderful. I am so thankful for the time we shared. They made the initial "I'm really doing this" shock a little easier to handle. We have a new group this week and they are nice, although I haven't met some of them or can't remember their names. They are overall just nice. Except that one...
This morning after three and a half hours of helping to resuscitate a 2 year old that we have no way to diagnose, I heard one of them say, "Yea, there's someone here for 3 months. Clearly, they're delusional. I couldn't be here longer than a week." Yep, you know me, I turned to her and said that I, in fact, was the delusional person she was talking about. This broke my heart. The people in Haiti need people who want to help, who want to be here, and want them to have the best things available. I can deal with the complaining about how we don't have enough supplies, because that means that individual wants it to be better and wants to do their job to it's fullest potential.
On to less rant-type things, we went to the beach this past Wednesday. It was glorious. God DEFINITELY did amazing creating this island, let me tell you. It was amazing. Paddleboarding in the Carribean Ocean just after snorkeling some nearby reefs! Yes, I do believe those activities will exist in Heaven.
I know this is a bit random, but I haven't written in days and I wasn't able to journal for about 4 days.
We lost a baby last night. One that we suspected would not make it, but it is still a sad thing. The Lord led me to a scripture this morning. It was most helpful when I was journaling and feeling rather defeated.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all of His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. Psalm 103:2-5
Thanks for your prayers. I covet them.
God is amazing!!
So many things have happened between the day we got here and now. A 1.7 kg baby lived through the bursting of a few vessels in her lungs, a nasty clogged ETT tube (she needs that to breathe), and a well-run code by a very nervous PICU doc from FL.
Francois is going home! He has been an orphan at the hospital for almost a year now. One of the interpreters, Oberto, and his wife are adopting him. The CNO says he should be going home any day now. Good news is that there is a little cutie that is just as fun and giggly as he is.
There are neurosurgeons coming in less than two weeks to operate on our kids with shunt infections. YES! They are most of our peds patients right now.
I, also, have an amazing group here this week. My roommates consist of an awesome Aussie Peds doc (my bunkmate), a PICU doc from FL, OT student from MI, and two Adult ICU nurses from CA. The rest of the group consists of a couple of Canadian nurses with TONS of experience in everything, a British ER nurse, Canadian ER nurse, Peds nurse from CA, and a trauma doc and PA from MO. Everyone is awesome and SUCH hard workers. They are taking everything in stride and I haven't heard a single complaint.
So, yes, God IS amazing. He came before us and prepared the way. Everything is not perfect, but His provision is everywhere around us.
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, “He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.” He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God." 2 Corinthians 9:8-11
AMEN!!
Now if you faithfully obey the LORD your God and are careful to follow all His commands I am giving you today, the LORD your God will put you far above all the nations of the earth. Deuteronomy 28:1
Well, the blessings have started. I can't say that I'm all that surprised. My God is who He says He is. My God makes promises for things that I am quite unworthy of.
I'm going to back track a little. My dad drove me to the airport in Boston (bleh!) and we had a 10-second goodbye. I, then, got on an elevator to go to the check-in for JetBlue. In the elevator, I had this overwhelming sense of relief and I almost started to cry. Who likes to cry in front of random strangers? Yea, not me. So, I went about my way and did the whole check-in and go through security thing. (Thanks to Alex for sending me a picture that made me smile.)
Anyway, I made it on the plane and the flight was great. JetBlue says they give you extra leg room and they do not lie. I stretched my legs out completely!! Little victories, people. So, I get my bags and something has leaked inside one of them. (I give my mom credit for putting all of the things in plastic bags and putting all of my bathroom stuff together.) The shuttle driver picks me up and is super nice! So, I ask him about how I should get to MIA in the morning. He is adamant about me not taking a taxi and says he will get me set up with someone that won't take advantage of me. He , and I, were worried about me taking a taxi at 3 AM.
We get to the hotel and he introduces me to Rinaldo, a Haitian American. Rinaldo is going to be at the hotel at 3 AM just to drive me to MIA. Praise the Lord! Do I think the fact that he is Haitian a coincidence? NO! My God doesn't deal in coincidences. He deals in divine planning/meetings.
I thought y'all would like to hear about today. I'm not sure of the next time I will be able to post. So, I leave you with all of the love I have to give. Thank you so much for the support and love you have shown me in my preparation for this journey.
The weekends are usually a relaxing time for most people. My last one was full of "stuff". Haha, "stuff" is that set of things that is never fun, but must be done in order to move on/things to progress. My "stuff" was leaving my job and moving out of my apartment.
My last day at Connecticut Children's Medical Center was one of great relief. It meant that this journey to Haiti is real. I am really unemployed. I am really going to volunteer.
Then comes Saturday. Moved out of my ridiculously expensive apartment in CT. I'm now free of rent payments for the next few months. I could not have done that day alone. All 8 of my helpers are greatly appreciated.
This. Is. Real.
Saturday night I made it to Rockland, ME. I love it here. It is so quiet and non-busy. Things move SO slow for me to be in New England. Did I say I love it here... in the summer?
Sunday was filled with wonderful things of all kinds. Church and after-service picnic at Camden Hills State Park. Trip to the Dahlia farm that is run by a friend of my mom's and dinner at Cafe Miranda were two unexpected delights of the day.
So grateful for this quiet time away from the busy and bustling before my trip. I'm hoping to get some time to do some things on my own, as well as, head up to Acadia State Park with my brother. I will keep you updated.
"And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest a while." For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat." Mark 6:31
Please keep this trip in your prayers. I covet them so much.
